Partners and couples tend to struggle talking about how to initiate sex, what they desire in the bedroom, and what intimacy they require in their day to day life. When couples struggle communicating, expressing their feelings, or listening to their partner, they create more emotional hurt and sexual distance within the relationship. For couples or partnerships to experience happy, healthy sex, we must focus on increasing communication, listening, supporting the pursuer, and supporting the distancer.
Couples or partners struggling with this issues can benefit from Sex Therapy. The sexual pursuer dynamic can change! The emotional hurt can be healed if the pattern changes. Leave a comment below. I want him to desire ME. But if your husband is basically a good man, here are some things you can do: Be clear about what you want and need. Is it the physical release of sex?
Or is it something else? Spend some time in your own heart trying to clarify your true desires. The clearer you can become about what you want, the more likely you are to find it. Help your husband help you. Most men love to successfully solve problems, to fix things. Instead, try showing him what he can do to be your hero. Can we take a weekend and ….. Can I make an appointment for you with the doctor to get checked out?
Look for and appreciate the good things he does. He would reach out and touch me when we both laid down for bed and so often I would cut him off right there. But pay close attention to the next part. The way it makes me feel, of course, but also that I realize that he was telling the truth when he described how it made him feel years ago.
He would say that it made him feel ugly, unwanted, and unloved. I was wrong. She teared up at this point and was unable to continue for a few minutes. But some tea and my gentle words got her talking again. I recognized the look on my face in the mirror as the same one on his ten years ago. And I absolutely do feel ugly, unwanted, and unloved. I feel like my body is unworthy of his attention. He must have felt the same way ten years ago when he watched me show more interest in my makeup than my unclothed husband walking out of the shower.
Research has found that couples have sex about 1 or 2 times a week, but about half of sexual advances between partners go unfulfilled. The study suggests that while having an advance accepted leaves partners feeling more content, this effect may be short-lived compared to the dissatisfaction of being rejected. To get a peek into the bedrooms of heterosexual couples participants were aged between 19 and 64 , Kiersten Dobson from the University of Western Ontario and colleagues asked them all to keep sex diaries.
Every day for 3 weeks, both partners independently logged whether they or their partner had made a sexual advance, and if so, whether that led to sexual activity. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the researchers found that accepting a sexual advance, or having an advance accepted by the partner, resulted in an increase in both sexual and relationship satisfaction that day compared to other days.
On the other hand, being rejected decreased sexual satisfaction. But intriguingly, if the participant themselves was the rejecter — that is, if they shunned an advance from their partner — their sexual satisfaction still increased.
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